Happiness is a Choice

Reinforcing the value of life.

Reaffirming the pursuit of happiness.

This is the story of Grace and how she realized that no matter how loving a person might be, that person could never put enough love into her heart to satisfy it. Grace longed for love, and would keep longing and searching for it until she understood who is the one with limitless love.

In order to understand Grace’s journey toward Happiness Level Four we must begin by learning a little about her friend, Charles. Their relationship helped her to find lasting and fulfilling happiness.

Charles’ Story

Charles claimed, "I'm a man of few words, but I'm a man of my word." His grandfather spoke similar thoughts about being true to his word, which left a lasting impression on Charles. Charles always worked to "earn his keep." This produced in him a hard work ethic, the virtues of dedication, and patience.

Charles and Grace met at college and fell in love. She learned from his example how to share, to be patient, and serve others. She especially admired his genuine contentment with changing circumstances.

No one ever loved Charles like Grace. She loved him for who he was, not for what he did or offered. However, Charles and Grace weren't at the same level of commitment.

Charles dreamed of being a commercial airline pilot, driving long-haul semi-trucks, and going to graduate school. Grace "let go" of Charles so he could be free to decide which "path" he would take. She knew he must freely choose to commit to her in order for lasting love to be possible. This caused much suffering and heartache for both of them.

Grace thought Charles must not love her enough to overcome what prevented his commitment. She pondered how they could share their love, finding no answers. The result for her was heartache and longing for him. At the time, Grace did not understand why God wanted her to "let go" of Charles, but she obeyed.

Grace, for many years, believed she would be completely happy when she married the man destined for her. Shortly after "letting go" of Charles, she began to think—perhaps her greatest need now was for a solid female friendship. Turning to God for help, Grace was blessed with a new, best friend, Nina. Grace found happiness in the acceptance of Nina’s friendship.

As time progressed, Grace allowed her suffering to make her more vulnerable to God. She often felt far from God as she suffered, and persevered by offering her every tear, heartache, memory, thought, and desire for Charles to Jesus with faith that He would use this for the benefit of those in need according to His will. In return, she experienced God’s comfort and healing power.

As God healed Grace, she understood her need for emotional healing from the past before she shared her life with a man in marriage. She was wounded from a hurtful relationship with her father, had known of it for a long time, and sought affection from boyfriends to help "heal" it. Reflection on all this helped her healing process. Nina helped Grace discover the rich depth of her Catholic faith. Nina explained the teachings of the Catholic Church and how to pray the rosary. They frequently went to Mass together.

Through the graces received by living her Catholic faith, Grace found that no other person, not even a husband, could ever fulfill her deepest longings. Each time she wholeheartedly sought His will, there was no Divine confirmation, in her understanding, regarding any man.

Daily, for months, she would tearfully ask God, "Can I still love Charles?" "I desire him so much, doesn't he miss me?" "Does he still love me?"

In the depth of her soul, she heard, "Have I ever given you any reason not to trust Me?" "Do you want a man who loves you as I do?" "Do you trust Me to bring you such a man?"

Grace began to understand—Jesus wanted her to focus on improving herself, not worry about Charles or the future because that was in God's control.

Lo! And Behold! The more Grace resolved to trust God, made choices to be happy regardless of her circumstances, and to live her Catholic faith, the more deep peace and joy she experienced. In short, God was healing her wounds by drawing her intimately to Himself. Jesus was "wooing" her and she loved it. She realized God wanted her to experience other joys outside a relationship with a man. She joined a co-ed soccer team, took a Spanish class, got a Chocolate Labrador Retriever, developed her sense of humor, seized the opportunity to travel to Europe, and studied her Catholic faith. Grace also did her best to be a good friend to Nina, a hardworking employee, a devoted daughter, a loyal sister, and to accept her circumstances by choosing happiness moment-by-moment.

Grace came to understand that God created us to be happy, however, He does not force us. The secret of happiness is that it's a choice to be made, not a feeling "bubbling up" from within. As she moved through the four levels of happiness, she learned each level brings deeper satisfaction and lasts longer. Does she feel happy all the time? No, because happiness is more than a feeling, it's a decision made in the depths of the will minute-by-minute, day in and day out. Grace learned that circumstances do not guarantee our happiness. We must choose happiness despite our circumstances.
Grace chose to commit to trusting God and her Catholic faith. She also chose to commit to being a genuine friend to Nina. She never let go of hope for Charles or her deep love for him. She also hoped God would send a man who loved her like Him.

Grace and Happiness Level Four

As long as she sought total fulfillment from Charles, Grace remained at Happiness Level Three. It took the loss of many things for her to realize she could lose and suffer much and still be happy. When Charles was gone from her life, she thought everything was gone—she thought happiness was impossible. Slowly, Grace realized she could still find peace, love, and joy. Charles reflected those gifts. However, the source of all good, Grace discovered, is God, and He would never leave, fail, or forsake her. The peace, love, and joy God has for her is never-ending and unlimited. He showed her unlimited, perfect, ultimate truth, love and goodness, which would never fail her, are found in Him.

Learn more about the Four Levels of Happiness

What am I living for?
Am I happy?