What if your doctor told you that your child would be born with a physical limitation or a developmental problem? Some women in these cases feel that abortion is an ethical decision, preferring to suffer the pain of abortion rather than allow their child to suffer in life. The ethical dilemma facing couples in a difficult pregnancy ultimately comes down to an issue of what it means to be human, and what life and love are all about.
A case in point comes from a recent news article which reported that the medical director of a British fertility clinic refused to offer routine pre implantation genetic diagnosis tests for babies conceived through In Vitro Fertilization. This testing, would detect chromosomal problems, such as Down’s Syndrome, in the embryo and allow doctors to weed out the imperfect babies before implantation. However, this fertility doctor felt that throwing out the imperfect embryos posed some ethical difficulties. While many in our society ignore these types of tough questions, the survival of morality and ethics in our culture demands that we make the right choices on these most basic issues of life and death.
With modern technology, questions about whether or not to preserve life often arise. So, what makes life worth living and preserving? What are we, as humans, meant to be? Ultimately, the answers can be found in an ethic of love. The love possible between human beings, and the love of God for each life, means each human being is of inestimable worth. Because love is such a great good--as John of the Cross said, "In the end, we will be judged by our love"--anything that adds love to our lives is priceless.
Eventually, we all discover that it is God and people that bring love to our lives, not the material things or accomplishments that our culture tells us are so valuable. The life of a child, even if he lives only for a short time, fills a family’s life with a new chance for love.
If we choose to follow an ethic that values all human life and promotes love, we will discover that real happiness can be found through accepting the life and love of a special needs child. When a family loves a child that is weak and needy, and can not give any material benefits in return, they love with the truest form of love--the love that God Himself has for each of us. Like helpless newborns, we are unable to provide God with material benefits. But God did not bring us into existence because He wanted these things from us. He wanted people to share His goodness and His life with--He wanted people He could love. He knows that having people to love brings happiness, and one way He shares His happiness is by giving parents the gift that He Himself wanted--children to love.
God works miracles in our hearts through the every day processes of life, such as living in a family. He works a miracle of love by transforming us, as we love and care for children. He teaches us how to think about the good of others--purifying our love so that we do not love for our own advantage, but rather as a free gift to another--which is exactly how God loves us--as a free gift. As we welcome each new child that God blesses us with, especially those special needs children, we will find the joy of loving as He loves, with a love that has the power to sustain and transform a child’s life.
We are all special needs people. It is really His love that sustains and transforms each of us. Fortunately God’s ethics are far above those of our society. He does not test for human perfection and throw out all of us who fail the test! None of us are perfectly healthy or live a life without some form of suffering. So thank God that He loves us despite our imperfections. Indeed, the fact that God loves us in our imperfections (yet always calling us to conversion) is one of the most amazing things about who He is.
For additional information check out:
http://www.benotafraid.net/
Benotafraid.net is an online outreach to parents who have received a poor or difficult prenatal diagnosis. The family stories, articles, and links within this site are presented as a resource for those who may have been asked to choose between terminating a pregnancy or continuing on despite the diagnosis. The benotafraid.net families faced the same decision and chose not to terminate. By sharing experiences, they hope to offer encouragement to those who may be afraid to continue on.
http://nathhan.com/
Nathhan.com equips parents to raise their children with special needs or disabilities confidently.
http://www.chask.org/index.htm
Chask.org encourages families with special needs children, in ways that glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. They also aim to find Christian homes for children with special needs.
Life Principles Reflections is a quarterly Email commentary developed to give reflections on life issues. Every three months articles are published online featuring a staff or a guest writer.
